Fibber and Mert: "The 2010 edition" (The stork)

Fibber, Mert and Molly are all dead in 2010. But we can imagine them on the idiot box today:

"Fibber" : Yo operator.  Give me the Wistful Vista...oh, is that you, Mert?  How's every lil thing, Mert?  Tis eh?  Oh really?  This past weekend?  Five alarms eh?  Your little brother was burnt?  And what?  Your mother?  THE STORK? 

"Molly" : Oh dear McGee, was there a fire ...and a birth?

"Fibber" : This past weekend, Mert and her family went to a chili cookoff and her brother complained of his tongue burning. Then, a giant stork came out of nowhere and pecked Mert's mother's eyes out!